I haven't been in much of a writing mode lately, well truthfully, for a really long time. It's sad really because I have had a wealth of things that I have needed to write about. However, it is what it is, and as they say, "You can't go back...Time marches on...yada, yada, yada...
I don't have much time to read either, but occasionally something I did have time to read really strikes a chord with me. That's exactly what this blog entry from Eventing Nation did. I hope you'll read it and feel like saying, "BRAVO!" just as I did.
Enjoy!
Here's the link:
http://eventingnation.com/home/julie-howard-confessions-of-a-master-event-rider/
Friday, January 31, 2014
Sunday, November 17, 2013
And So God Made the Horse
This is another one of those articles I SOOO wish I could take credit for writing. I pulled it off of Eventing Nation. It originally appeared in "The Chronicle of the Horse."Grab a tissue.
Enjoy.
(Oh...and the image I pulled off the internet.)
After making the little girl, God said:
“You’ll need something to lean on. Something with substance that will teach you the value of hard work, perseverance, and to never give up. A thing that won’t cast judgment when you mess up in life. Because you will often, it’s just part of growing up and becoming a decent human.
“You’ll need something whose impressive physical presence must be respected at all times. A being who could break your bones in a whisper but will never break your heart. A creature who will be there for you when you cry for hours after someone you love lets you down. An unspeaking breathing being that will teach you to check all the noise in your head and completely listen to what he is saying.
“Sometimes in life you need to let go and just hang on. I call this trust. The terrifying ability to follow something blindly out of the conviction of only your heart. It will keep you centered and restore your faith when life happens. When you realize that you are forgettable to the world you won’t be to this creature.
“Something that will keep you truly humbled yet teach you how to fly!
“You need to understand the painful reality of death. Sometimes it’s ok to let go. That kindness will always be rewarded before the use of force. And that courage means trusting him to get you safely to the other side.
“Something to get you out of bed in the trying times. When you feel like you have nothing he will remind you that you are still wanted. Something to give you perspective about what’s really important in life.
“You’ll need a best friend. Do not take this relationship lightly. It just might save your life someday when you see no out. Treasure it always I’m trusting it to you to take care of for a reason.
“A creature who will restore your faith about all of the goodness in the world even when you are so broken down that you cast Me aside.
“In turn with time and healing he will bring you back to Me. Know that your struggle won’t be made alone, and don’t forget to enjoy the ride.
So I will make a horse.”
Friday, November 15, 2013
Miracles DO Happen
If you read my last post, you know that things have been a bit rough the past few months. I closed my business, and since then I've gone back to my old standby: waiting tables. It's definitely a love/hate relationship. One of the things I love is finishing each shift with cash in my hands. One of the things I hate is the misconception so many folks have about how servers make money. I could write 10,000 words on that topic, but that's another post. For the purpose of this post, what you need to know is this: Servers make $2.63 per hour. Uncle Sam usually takes all of that for tax purposes. Basically if you don't get tipped, you don't get paid. In addition, there is this nifty little thing called tip share, which means that a percentage of the tips I do get goes to other workers in the restaurant, such as the hosts, the bartenders, etc...SO...if you only give me a 10% tip, I don't even see all of that. Some nights are good; some nights are bad. Some nights, even if you're really busy, if the tips are bad (even if you weren't) you don't make much money.
There are a lot of things that can affect the amount of money you make; one of the worst is when it's just a slow night. I can control the kind of service I give a table; I can't control how many people come in the restaurant.
Last Saturday night was one of those nights I had no control over. It was slow. I, however, was really on my game. It was one of those nights where I felt like I was really connecting with the customers I did have and was actually enjoying some of the conversations I was engaging in. One of the tables I was enjoying chatting with was a table of four, made up of two couples that were probably in their 50's. I was able to joke around with them, and even talk about my favorite topic, my son. They were taking their time with their meal and enjoying a night out. When the time came for me to drop off their check, I asked if they needed me to split it up. The gentleman I'd been joking around with the most, said, "No, I get it." I dropped off the bill and moved on to check on my other customers.
What happened next is the stuff of legend. The kind of thing you see on YouTube or read about on the internet. I think I even saw a story about it on "World News Tonight."
The check was paid and as I went back by the table, the gentleman handed the payment book back to me. When I got to the computer to enter my tip and close out that table's check, what I saw almost knocked me off my feet. I literally stood there staring at the credit card slip in disbelief. After what seemed like forever, I burst into tears. My customer had left me a $100 tip, which was over 100% of what the bill was. I was blown away. My little family has been through so much, and there hasn't been an overabundance of kindness. To think that a stranger would do that for me...I still can't really get my mind around it.
When you go through tough times, especially when it's because of your own bad decisions, you really start to feel like a failure and a bad person and a worthless human being. A line from "Pretty Woman" has played over and over in my head. In it Julia Roberts is talking to Richard Gere about how she ended up being a prostitute, and she says about herself, "It's so much easier to believe the bad things." It's so true! You start to let your circumstances define you. I have definitely let mine!
Once I composed myself, I headed back over to the table to say, "Thank you!" This was definitely one of those times when words seemed completely inadequate. Of course, as I tried to find them, I ended up crying all over again and telling the table how much the tip meant and how hard things had been: the failed business, the living with in-laws. As he got up to leave the very kind gentleman said to me, "Hang in there. Keep trying. Most people are afraid to even step up to home plate."
Wow. I still get teary. And what I really what him to know (if by some chance he's reading this) is that one simple sentence meant more to me than the money ever could. Don't get me wrong, the money was wonderful and very much needed, but the validation meant even more. It was a word of affirmation from a God-sent angel!
So to everyone out there who is doubting, down-trodden, beaten...well, miracles do happen. Especially when you least expect it. Hang in there; keep swimming; and keep stepping up to the plate.
Until next time...
There are a lot of things that can affect the amount of money you make; one of the worst is when it's just a slow night. I can control the kind of service I give a table; I can't control how many people come in the restaurant.
Last Saturday night was one of those nights I had no control over. It was slow. I, however, was really on my game. It was one of those nights where I felt like I was really connecting with the customers I did have and was actually enjoying some of the conversations I was engaging in. One of the tables I was enjoying chatting with was a table of four, made up of two couples that were probably in their 50's. I was able to joke around with them, and even talk about my favorite topic, my son. They were taking their time with their meal and enjoying a night out. When the time came for me to drop off their check, I asked if they needed me to split it up. The gentleman I'd been joking around with the most, said, "No, I get it." I dropped off the bill and moved on to check on my other customers.
What happened next is the stuff of legend. The kind of thing you see on YouTube or read about on the internet. I think I even saw a story about it on "World News Tonight."
The check was paid and as I went back by the table, the gentleman handed the payment book back to me. When I got to the computer to enter my tip and close out that table's check, what I saw almost knocked me off my feet. I literally stood there staring at the credit card slip in disbelief. After what seemed like forever, I burst into tears. My customer had left me a $100 tip, which was over 100% of what the bill was. I was blown away. My little family has been through so much, and there hasn't been an overabundance of kindness. To think that a stranger would do that for me...I still can't really get my mind around it.
When you go through tough times, especially when it's because of your own bad decisions, you really start to feel like a failure and a bad person and a worthless human being. A line from "Pretty Woman" has played over and over in my head. In it Julia Roberts is talking to Richard Gere about how she ended up being a prostitute, and she says about herself, "It's so much easier to believe the bad things." It's so true! You start to let your circumstances define you. I have definitely let mine!
Once I composed myself, I headed back over to the table to say, "Thank you!" This was definitely one of those times when words seemed completely inadequate. Of course, as I tried to find them, I ended up crying all over again and telling the table how much the tip meant and how hard things had been: the failed business, the living with in-laws. As he got up to leave the very kind gentleman said to me, "Hang in there. Keep trying. Most people are afraid to even step up to home plate."
Wow. I still get teary. And what I really what him to know (if by some chance he's reading this) is that one simple sentence meant more to me than the money ever could. Don't get me wrong, the money was wonderful and very much needed, but the validation meant even more. It was a word of affirmation from a God-sent angel!
So to everyone out there who is doubting, down-trodden, beaten...well, miracles do happen. Especially when you least expect it. Hang in there; keep swimming; and keep stepping up to the plate.
Until next time...
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Don't Read This! (If you can't handle a harsh dose of reality.)
Be forewarned: this blog will not be the normal happy, go for it, funny, life is good blog you're used to reading here. Writing has always been a kind of therapy for me. And if writing about the difficult things helps someone else as well, all the better.
It's amazing how quickly things can change. I know life is like that, a river that is forever changing, and I know what I just said is yet another cliche. However, I have found that life is one very large cliche. And I sit here wondering how I could have missed that one simple truth: that most cliches are true. Whether we want to admit that or not, they are. My life is proof.
I also used to wonder how "normal," hard working, folks could ever possibly end up homeless. Now I know. After a series of bad decisions that led to two failed businesses, bankruptcy, repossessions, and financial ruin, my husband, son and I find ourselves living in a bedroom in my in-laws house, quite literally one step from the street. Each day reduced to simply trying to dig your way out of a very large hole, like trying to fill a bottle with sand one grain at a time. It's agonizing, miserable and hard.
Very quickly you learn what you can do without, that so much of what you thought you needed, was really only what you wanted. There is a big difference. "It's not having what you want; it's wanting what you have."
You also find out who your friends are. As someone who has always worked with the public, and volunteered, and been very "out there," I thought I had "TONS" of friends. Friends and acquaintances are not the same thing. Friends are business associates are not the same thing. Even friends and family are not the same thing. It's sad how many strings you discover when you lose everything. It's even more sad how many "friends" either disappear all together or even worse, show their true colors. Suddenly the vast numbers are reduced to single digits. It's shocking and tragic and hurtful all at once.
But Somehow in the midst of all the pain and all the change and all the loss, a certain kind of freedom begins to emerge and with it, a strange strength.. Don't misunderstand me. There are so many things I wish I could do over. So many things I wish I could have back, and I'm not just talking about material things, but relationships as well. But in the midst of all the hurt and sorrow and depression, I have learned how strong I can be and I have learned who I can really trust, who my friends really are, and what is really important. No, life is not easy, but is it ever? Even when things are "good," isn't life still hard. Of course it is. What matters is figuring out what really matters and finding the truth, and learning to rise above it and just keep swimming.
Cliches all, but true.
Here's to happier, better musings next time.
It's amazing how quickly things can change. I know life is like that, a river that is forever changing, and I know what I just said is yet another cliche. However, I have found that life is one very large cliche. And I sit here wondering how I could have missed that one simple truth: that most cliches are true. Whether we want to admit that or not, they are. My life is proof.
I also used to wonder how "normal," hard working, folks could ever possibly end up homeless. Now I know. After a series of bad decisions that led to two failed businesses, bankruptcy, repossessions, and financial ruin, my husband, son and I find ourselves living in a bedroom in my in-laws house, quite literally one step from the street. Each day reduced to simply trying to dig your way out of a very large hole, like trying to fill a bottle with sand one grain at a time. It's agonizing, miserable and hard.
Very quickly you learn what you can do without, that so much of what you thought you needed, was really only what you wanted. There is a big difference. "It's not having what you want; it's wanting what you have."
You also find out who your friends are. As someone who has always worked with the public, and volunteered, and been very "out there," I thought I had "TONS" of friends. Friends and acquaintances are not the same thing. Friends are business associates are not the same thing. Even friends and family are not the same thing. It's sad how many strings you discover when you lose everything. It's even more sad how many "friends" either disappear all together or even worse, show their true colors. Suddenly the vast numbers are reduced to single digits. It's shocking and tragic and hurtful all at once.
But Somehow in the midst of all the pain and all the change and all the loss, a certain kind of freedom begins to emerge and with it, a strange strength.. Don't misunderstand me. There are so many things I wish I could do over. So many things I wish I could have back, and I'm not just talking about material things, but relationships as well. But in the midst of all the hurt and sorrow and depression, I have learned how strong I can be and I have learned who I can really trust, who my friends really are, and what is really important. No, life is not easy, but is it ever? Even when things are "good," isn't life still hard. Of course it is. What matters is figuring out what really matters and finding the truth, and learning to rise above it and just keep swimming.
Cliches all, but true.
Here's to happier, better musings next time.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
I Wanna Be a Pit Bull!
I Wanna Be a Pit Bull
This has been a wild and crazy year so far. I found out I was pregnant; I moved my store into a shopping center from the Equestrian Center where it was originally located; I sent my beloved first baby Syd to be leased and shown by a good friend, and on and on it goes.
A couple of days ago, a good friend of mine came by the store to say, "Hello!" and ask a tack question. As we have a tendency to do, our conversation turned a bit philosophical, and we ended up talking about small businesses (she has one as well) and not giving up when the going gets tough. Last night I was thinking about that very conversation and an image popped into my mind.
When I was single and working late at restaurants, I used to LOVE to watch "The David Letterman Show." (These days I'm doing good not to fall asleep by 9!) One of my favorite segments was "Stupid Animal Tricks." One night there was a Pit bull featured. His owner had a tree trimming business, and he had taught the dog to "trim trees." Pit bulls are famous for the strength and power of their jaws. The show's producers brought out a small tree for the trick, and the dog proceeded to trim it by jumping up, grabbing branches and basically bouncing like he was on a bungee cord until the branch came off the tree. This trick in itself was pretty amazing, but you couldn't get the full picture of how powerful this dog was until he grabbed hold of a very thick branch. The branch was determined to hold onto the tree, and the dog was determined to hold onto the branch. David Letterman really wasn't quite sure what to do other than be impressed. The segment basically ended up going to commercial with the dog still dangling in mid air, holding the tree branch by his jaws. He may be hanging there still! Needless to say, that Pit Bull and his owner won that night's "Stupid Animal Tricks."
My point is this... Life can get very hard. There are naysayers and doubters everywhere. Owning a small business is hard. So is having a baby at 43! For that matter so is owning a small business and having a baby at 43 all at the same time! It doesn't matter what it is you're struggling to do....What matters is the journey and staying the course. No matter how hard it gets; no matter how much I scream or cry or get mad or frustrated, I wanna be that Pit Bull. I wanna still be hanging onto that darned branch. With a little help from God and family and friends, that's exactly what I'll be!
Not giving up!
Still hanging on...
Friday, February 3, 2012
A Time for Change
Well, 2012 is shaping up to be all about change. BIG change. SOOOOO much has happened since I last wrote a blog back in October. I wish I could go back and accurately and efficiently chronicle it all in great detail, but that would take page upon page upon page. I don't want to bore you. What I will do is try to sum up what has happened and what wonderful things are waiting in the wings.
First and foremost: I'M PREGNANT! If you're reading this, you probably already know me and have heard that little tidbit of information, but if not, I'M PREGNANT!
It came as a HUGE surprise to Tim and me. I'm 43 (gasp!) and we really didn't think it would ever happen...but just when you least expect it! Nathaniel "Nate" Sheldon Wadley will be an unbelievably miraculous blessing when he finally arrives this summer. He has already changed or is changing EVERYTHING from my business Lead Changes, to where we live, to what to do about my first baby, Syd. It's all happening very quickly, and a lot of it is still very much in the planning stages. I will add updates as they solidify. For now what I really what to talk about is "giving back."
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Uh Oh. Another diatribe on volunteering..." And you would be right. See here's the deal. After I had my riding accident several years ago, I didn't have a horse. Even after I bought the fabulous Syd, I didn't even think about hitting the show circuit until this past year. Since I desperately wanted to stay involved during those non-riding years, I started volunteering. I scribed; I jump judged; I painted fences; I picked up brush and hauled it to a burn pile; I was a show secretary, a ring steward; I made sandwiches...You get the picture: Wherever there was a need; you name it, I did it! And I am SO GLAD I did!!! You have no idea the wealth of information I picked up about my sport from doing all these different jobs! Even better then that: I met so many wonderful people. Horsepeople are some of the best folks around, and they love to talk "horse" with other horsepeople. I have talked horse with everyone from an 8 year old kid who aspires to ride at Rolex one day, to the volunteer coordinator FOR Rolex. I never would have met them without volunteering!
So here's what I really want to impress upon you: Show season is just about to really kick into high gear. I know we all can't wait! Most of your local shows, and even your area recognized events and recognized dressage shows, would NEVER happen without their volunteers. Volunteering isn't difficult; you don't have know anything at all...they'll usually teach you; and it doesn't have to be all weekend! Most shows are happy to have you for an hour or two! And I know we ALL have an hour or two at shows we could spare. So make all my fellow show secretaries and show organizers happy and volunteer a little bit of your time. You might be surprised at what you'll learn or who you'll meet! And hey! You MIGHT just have fun in the process.
And since I won't be showing this season, I'll be volunteering again myself. Hope to see you out there! (I'm stepping down from my soapbox now.) Happy 2012, and Happy riding!
First and foremost: I'M PREGNANT! If you're reading this, you probably already know me and have heard that little tidbit of information, but if not, I'M PREGNANT!
It came as a HUGE surprise to Tim and me. I'm 43 (gasp!) and we really didn't think it would ever happen...but just when you least expect it! Nathaniel "Nate" Sheldon Wadley will be an unbelievably miraculous blessing when he finally arrives this summer. He has already changed or is changing EVERYTHING from my business Lead Changes, to where we live, to what to do about my first baby, Syd. It's all happening very quickly, and a lot of it is still very much in the planning stages. I will add updates as they solidify. For now what I really what to talk about is "giving back."
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Uh Oh. Another diatribe on volunteering..." And you would be right. See here's the deal. After I had my riding accident several years ago, I didn't have a horse. Even after I bought the fabulous Syd, I didn't even think about hitting the show circuit until this past year. Since I desperately wanted to stay involved during those non-riding years, I started volunteering. I scribed; I jump judged; I painted fences; I picked up brush and hauled it to a burn pile; I was a show secretary, a ring steward; I made sandwiches...You get the picture: Wherever there was a need; you name it, I did it! And I am SO GLAD I did!!! You have no idea the wealth of information I picked up about my sport from doing all these different jobs! Even better then that: I met so many wonderful people. Horsepeople are some of the best folks around, and they love to talk "horse" with other horsepeople. I have talked horse with everyone from an 8 year old kid who aspires to ride at Rolex one day, to the volunteer coordinator FOR Rolex. I never would have met them without volunteering!
So here's what I really want to impress upon you: Show season is just about to really kick into high gear. I know we all can't wait! Most of your local shows, and even your area recognized events and recognized dressage shows, would NEVER happen without their volunteers. Volunteering isn't difficult; you don't have know anything at all...they'll usually teach you; and it doesn't have to be all weekend! Most shows are happy to have you for an hour or two! And I know we ALL have an hour or two at shows we could spare. So make all my fellow show secretaries and show organizers happy and volunteer a little bit of your time. You might be surprised at what you'll learn or who you'll meet! And hey! You MIGHT just have fun in the process.
And since I won't be showing this season, I'll be volunteering again myself. Hope to see you out there! (I'm stepping down from my soapbox now.) Happy 2012, and Happy riding!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Hey! What kind of pants are those?
So, I live in Arkansas, right? Not exactly the mecca for English riding of any kind. It is growing! Right now my tack shop Lead Changes is located on the campus of Salem Equestrian Center, the largest eventing facility in the state. We're taking 13 horses to Holly Hill Horse Trials in Louisiana this weekend, which is one of the largest events in our region of the United States Eventing Association (USEA.) That's a remarkable number, and I'm not even riding! Why you ask? Well, I'm setting up as a vendor there for the first time. It's kind of a big deal and I felt like it would probably be too much pressure to try and ride AND sell tack, especially after my disastrous run at Greenwood. I haven't exactly broken the news to the Syd yet. He's going to be VERY disappointed to see all his show buddies take off in trailers on Friday! Sometimes you've got to make the tough choices, i.e. sometimes being an adult sucks. At least I won't be there to see him cry because I'm leaving on Thursday. Poor Syd.
But anyway, I digress...
If you live in a state like North Carolina or Florida or Kentucky, I'm sure it's fairly common to see folks out and about town wearing breeches and boots. Here in Arkansas, not so much. Unless you happen to catch site of me shopping at Wal-mart or Kroger. Because I both ride and sell tack, you would be hard pressed to see me NOT in a pair of breeches and boots, and usually sporting a ball cap as well so as to not show off my helmet hair. In fact, there are probably folks around that believe it's a myth that I OWN a normal pair of pants or even have hair!
It's gotten to be big joke with my husband and me. We'll be at Chili's waiting for a table, and he'll say in a rather loud voice, "Hey! What kind of pants are those?" We just laugh and laugh...
So a few weeks ago I'm strollin' through Wally World's frozen food section, and I feel a set of eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. I casually turn around and say, "Oh, I'm sorry! Am I in your way?" The bearded gentlemen in full hunting regalia standing about 6 foot 3 inches and weighing in about 300 pounds, looks at me again, says, "No ma'am," pauses, and then says, "Hey! What kind of pants are those?" It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything at the time or it would have ended up all over his face. I had to contain my amusement, but I very simply and politely responded, "They're riding pants." To which he replied, "Yeah, that's what I thought," and sauntered away. I couldn't WAIT to get home and relay that little anecdote to my husband.
Happy riding! And if you see someone wearing riding breeches and boots, make their day and ask them the same question, and see if you don't get a smile!
But anyway, I digress...
If you live in a state like North Carolina or Florida or Kentucky, I'm sure it's fairly common to see folks out and about town wearing breeches and boots. Here in Arkansas, not so much. Unless you happen to catch site of me shopping at Wal-mart or Kroger. Because I both ride and sell tack, you would be hard pressed to see me NOT in a pair of breeches and boots, and usually sporting a ball cap as well so as to not show off my helmet hair. In fact, there are probably folks around that believe it's a myth that I OWN a normal pair of pants or even have hair!
It's gotten to be big joke with my husband and me. We'll be at Chili's waiting for a table, and he'll say in a rather loud voice, "Hey! What kind of pants are those?" We just laugh and laugh...
So a few weeks ago I'm strollin' through Wally World's frozen food section, and I feel a set of eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. I casually turn around and say, "Oh, I'm sorry! Am I in your way?" The bearded gentlemen in full hunting regalia standing about 6 foot 3 inches and weighing in about 300 pounds, looks at me again, says, "No ma'am," pauses, and then says, "Hey! What kind of pants are those?" It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything at the time or it would have ended up all over his face. I had to contain my amusement, but I very simply and politely responded, "They're riding pants." To which he replied, "Yeah, that's what I thought," and sauntered away. I couldn't WAIT to get home and relay that little anecdote to my husband.
Happy riding! And if you see someone wearing riding breeches and boots, make their day and ask them the same question, and see if you don't get a smile!
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